My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
