Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
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