i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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