found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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