Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
