'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize