is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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