I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
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