Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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