Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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