Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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