look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
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