Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
