The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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