i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
