I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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