this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
