your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
