mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
