I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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