No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
love makes seman taste better
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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