Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
