Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
my being single is dangerous.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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