both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm at about main and main street
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
