Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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