Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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