we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
