she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
