A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
