I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
