It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Randomize
