So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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