You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
