you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
