too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
