hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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