When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
