i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
