Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
