Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I have fence marks all over my body
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
