I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
