We should be called the Road Head Warriors
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
