Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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