you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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