I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
