did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
This is classic penis vs brain.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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