I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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