Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I want to be your penis for a week.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize
