I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
