I just cut my nipple shaving
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
