hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize