We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
