Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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