Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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