If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
